No Full Stops

Musings on life, learning and soul searching…

Naked 17 January 2012

Genre: Poetry

 

NAKED.

 

Every moment that I’ve had

Every moment yet to come

Are my silent enemies

Because now is the only one.

 

Spent a lifetime hating me

In the mirrors of judging you

I’m letting all that go

It’s the only thing to do.

 

Meet me in the naked moment

Stripped naked

Don’t fake it

Stripped naked.

Press your heart right up to mine

And if it’s been broken

At least it’s wide open.

 

Stop drowning into yesterday

Don’t dream into tomorrow

Just breathe into the moment

It’s all that can be known.

 

To be all that I am

Tempts the greatest fear

I’m laughing in its face

Do you want to meet me here?

 

Meet me in the naked moment

Stripped naked

Don’t fake it

Stripped naked.

Press your heart right up to mine

And if it’s been broken

At least it’s wide open.

 

Nothing here but now

Time to stop and feel

The moment that I’m in

The only thing that’s real.

 

The moments that I’ve shared

The touches that I’ve known

Show me who I am

On this journey of my own.

 

Meet me in the naked moment

Stripped naked

Don’t fake it

Stripped naked.

Press your heart right up to mine

And if it’s been broken

At least it’s wide open.

 

Stripped Naked.

Stripped Naked.

 

(c) Rachael Morris 2010.

 

My Divine Resolution 30 December 2011

Genre: Poetry

 

My Divine Resolution

I am love
I make choices and decisions from love, not fear
I honour myself
I honour all others
I love and accept all that I am
I give others the freedom to be all that they are
I do not impose myself, my needs or my expectations on others
Nor do I allow others to impose theirs upon me
I do not assume ownership of any other being
And I do not allow any other to possess any part of me
I commune peacefully and joyfully with all around me
I give love freely and without condition
I receive love openly and with gratitude
I listen, I learn and I grow
I know that at all times all is well
I live my truth
I know that I am a spiritual being having a human experience
I am a soul
I am one with God.

Please feel free to download this decorated and printable version for your own use:

Click here to open: My Divine Resolution

 

Stop Bringing Me Down 16 December 2011

I was reading a blog this morning titled “30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself”. It is a wonderful little list of insights that I have, for the most part, applied in my own life. Mostly. Have a read later via the link below and see how many you have got sorted and how many you should probably take a closer look at.

One that really stands out to me as a recurring lesson from my past is number 19:

“Stop letting others bring you down… Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.”

This particular habit of adapting and altering my expression of self has taken many forms over the years, all of them self destructive and ultimately ineffective.

Many times this has involved a complete compromise of being my best self. It has included a variety of dangerous behaviours, law breaking, unhealthy lifestyle habits, gossiping and basically just going with the flow of the group I was trying to fit into. And sure, I fit into those groups perfectly, at the expense of no longer fitting into myself. The reason this is so damaging to the self is that I stop liking myself and in particular because this has occurred largely at a subconscious level. Before I know it, I have become a stranger to myself, lost and wondering who I am and why I just never seem to be happy. I question the meaning of life, because I have lost my natural connection with it.

Ironically, during these times I often believe that the only happiness I feel occurs at the time that I am engaging in the very things that are taking me away from myself. I suppose this is because these are the times that I receive love and approval from the people I have surrounded myself with. They feel great that someone is accepting and reflecting who they are choosing to be, affirming that their expression of self is valid and right. Yet this all happens at the expense of my own expression of self and who I am choosing to be by default. This is exactly when I need to ask, ‘Do I love and approve of myself right now?’ This is how I can see that I am not honouring  my self and hopefully raise the strength to make a different choice.

Making a different choice, one that is true and authentic to my best self, often is an unpopular one. The people around me, assuming to know me better than I do, will often react unfavourably to a different me. They don’t seem to understand that the me they ‘know’ is a me that thought love and acceptance came from the outside. A lot of the time this is because they are also receiving their love and acceptance from the outside, in part through my friendship and compliance. If I can remember this, it allows me to move along my own path with strength and compassion towards any unfavourable reactions. And sometimes it means letting go of people or situations that just don’t fit with who I want to be.

I really don’t think that the changing tides of people and situations in my life is in any way a bad thing. In fact, I truly believe is a good and positive result of the changing nature of myself. It is one of life’s few guarantees… That as I change, the world around me changes, in both big and small ways. And when I think back to who I was being twenty years ago, ten years ago and even last year, I am grateful for all that has changed. It seems that as time goes by I get closer to my best self. And if I find I moving away from that, I just stop and observe, then make a different choice.

It is so easy to get caught up in the trillions of expressions of self in the world. But the only one worth losing and finding yourself in… is your own. Honour thyself.

 

Read 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself here.

 

 

Losing Trust 2 December 2011

Filed under: Creating Love,Writing Life — Rachael @ 12:32 pm
Tags: , , , ,

There is a certain amount of irony to the notion of trust. I mean, if it were never broken, it’s very existence would be superfluous, it would be inherent in all of us. Yet it is not. Some of us trust easily and some of us never really trust. But is it really about other people? What if we only looked at trust within ourselves? I’m not entirely sure this is a valid idea, but stay with me while I chew on it for a bit.

If I think back to times when another person broke my trust, it is all too easy to rest in the belief that they lied, or cheated or did the wrong thing. And maybe they did from my perspective. But if I remember back to that relationship (whatever it was), I find that I had also broken trust in some way. It may have been that I had stopped authentically engaging with that person, or I was trying to control how the relationship existed or even that I was ignoring truths in myself.

Perhaps this is why trust is a given in some relationships and a tentative agreement in others. Because when it is naturally there, it requires no thought or intervention, it just feels right and safe. If I am making a conscious decision to trust, there is already something there that goes against this. Owing to the fact that this is within me, then surely the obligation rests upon me to interact with that person accordingly. Based on what is in me I can honour myself and the other by allowing the relationship to be what it is, rather than what I think it should be, or what I would like it to be.

I have found that I can’t just think a situation into being, whether that situation is an event, a relationship or the way I want to be myself. It requires me to just be it first. Simply put, you get what you are. If I want to share trust with another person, I must first have that trust in myself. And it is not a trust of the other, it is trust of myself. It is the knowledge that I will attract people into my life that resonate with what I am, and it is with these people that trust is a non-issue.

The issue of course may be that these people are not what I want, or don’t interact with me in the way I would like. This then is my signal that I am not being these things myself. Until my way of being matches my idea of what I want, I won’t find trust within myself or another. It will always be a constructed and manipulated mind game. How can I really expect trust to exist under these circumstances? The whole point being, I don’t need trust if I am trust.

I trust myself to feel the relationship’s truth and respond authentically. I trust that I will get what I am. I let the idea of trusting another go. I know that to trust another is to trust myself.

Just some ideas… How do you trust?

 

The Value of Love Lost 10 November 2011

Filed under: Creating Love,Writing Life — Rachael @ 5:17 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

I broke up with the guy I’ve been seeing today. It wasn’t a particularly long relationship, perhaps four months. But I evolved in ways that I haven’t previously been able to, or required to, in the past. This came about largely due to where I have been in my own head space and also partly because of who he is.

The biggest difference for me in this relationship was that I was able to love unconditionally. And by unconditionally I mean that my love required nothing, it just was. It wasn’t dependent on circumstances, his way of being or my expectations of how another person should be. I just loved him for what he was, and I still do.

I was also able to love largely without any attachment to him, our relationship or the circumstances. In hindsight, I may well have known that our moments together would be relatively fleeting, thereby subconsciously luxuriating in every precious moment as it was experienced. The power of channelling all my energy in the present with another, rather than rehashing the past or projecting into the future was experientially intoxicating.

But in time, in our own ways, the present moment began to be experienced in a way that was stifling the connection. The very same magic ingredient that let us each be exactly who we were and maintain our independent free spirits, also showed us our differences. I’m still not sure those differences were deal breakers in particular, but it was clear that it was no longer enough to just freely be, and trust that love would flourish without contrived intervention.

What we didn’t have naturally was an intimate understanding of the other. I certainly held great love, passion, respect and appreciation for him, but very little understanding of his inner workings. This I had consciously acknowledged along the way and just peacefully let it go. And I take a fairly confident guess in saying he really didn’t understand the spectrum of me in great depth.

Where it became clear that it was the end of the road romantically for us was in the value placed on mutual understanding. I personally am a communicator, with a desire to understand and be understood by my partner. He, on the other hand, admitted that whether he is understood or not is neither here nor there. And so we found a misaligned value. One that would be crucial in a healthy and happy relationship for our two very different expressions of self.

So, we sat on the grass discussing our feelings and our needs, ironically the first time we had done so, with quiet tears slowing slipping slowly down each of our faces, unchecked and uncomforted. I felt completely at peace with the decision, with a clear mind. Yet none of that eased the weight of my sad and heavy heart.

Once a lover and now a friend, I said goodbye to the delicious thought of taking that unpredictable journey of love with this one unique man. I have gained much in the time we spent together, not least of all an additional core value to add to my treasured cache – understanding.


 

 
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